Thoughts

Hypocrite.

Sometimes, I can't help but think that we are all hypocrites.

We say, we love our home. But do we really? Would we sacrifice our lives for our home? Would you really? Words are only that. Words. Even the bravest of men cower in the face of danger. Even the most noble of people would choose life instead of death.

We wish for world peace. Have we done anything - anything at all - to contribute to that?

We go to school in the morning with the belief that we would learn something new today. Something novel. Something good. Something that would lead us to become a better person. A better being. But sometimes we go back without an inkling of what the lecturers had taught us. Sometimes, we go back angry or sad or disappointed or confused. Are we really going to school to study? Or it is something else that compels us to climb onto the bus at seven in the mornings. Try necessity. No? How about, obligation? Or... how do you put it... social interaction? If you still insist on 'no', then you are an even bigger hypocrite than me.

Wordweb defines 'Hypocrite' as 'A person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives.'

It's a bitter, bitter word.

Almost synonymous with 'liar'.

The world is scattered with hypocrites. Because the world is scattered with liars.

On the way to the bus in the morning, I'll tell myself, it's going to be a good day today. That single act alone, makes me a hypocrite. I profess belief that the day would be better, in order to conceal my doubts. When someone ask me, 'how're you?' and I respond, 'Fine, thank you.', I am being a hypocrite. I led the person to believe that I am fine, in order to hide the fact that I am not.

It is these mundane things that show a person who we really are. These little seemingly unremarkable acts that really shapes the person we have come to become.

So.

I have decided that being nice isn't all that bad. Being nice is second nature to me. I can be patient, helpful and nice. But I am tired of being nice to the people who obviously don't think much of me. People who haven't been saying nice things about me. People who are hypocrites but would never, ever admit it.
I can be nice. In fact, I can continue to be nice. But that would make me a hypocrite, would it not?

People are not like comic books, where you can see their thoughts written in italics alongside their hypercritical words, where everybody stand behind you when you are in the right, where villains are captured and good guys have 'happily-ever-afters'.

The world is not colored with black and white.

I miss Boston.

I miss Inti.

I miss 5S2.